Posted by: harrysachz | February 7, 2007


Water Bottle EXTREME!Hi. My name is Harry, and I’m an alcoholic. I’ve seen people do that on tv when they go to those self help groups for problems of the liquor kind. Oh, I don’t have a problem by the way. It’s just that drinking has become more than just a casual, social past-time and it’s now into a stage of “I’d rather be drinking than ____.” [Fill in the blank with either: Working, Studying, Driving, etc.] That’s a common thought amongst most people though right? Who wouldn’t want to relax with a cold beer in their hand and become a mindless drone to the hypnotic ways of the television. So anyhow,

I came up with this fuckin brilliant idea today: A beer labeled water bottle. Hear me out. One of the major reasons that I hold beer in such high regard is because you know that after the first few sips, your day is over. It’s time to relax, shut your mind off, and put all your cares and responsibilities off to the side. Your day is over. So my idea is that when you take a drink from this bottle, you see that little glimmer of XX in the corner of your eye, and your mind says with a calm voice, “Oh shit… I’m closing up shop early.” But, since it’s nothing but water or gatorade inside, your body is still willing to work to its full potential.  It’s sorta like Peter’s everlasting hypnosis session in Office Space; but with beer.

I noticed when I was driving tonight that there is a flaw in this concept. An officer of the law might look twice at someone drinking from this bottle when flying down the freeway at 80mph. “It’s just water, I swear!”…


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