Posted by: harrysachz | July 27, 2007

*Warning – Rant*

This is a rant that I needed to get off my chest. This experience just happened to me, no longer than 20 or so minutes ago and I needed to put this into words. It is not necessary to read this, but trust me… It was necessary to write it.

So I’ll set the scene…. In the slower lane, I pull up to a red light on a two lane road that has a 55 mph speed limit. Sitting there waiting, a woman pulls up behind me in a newer nissan sedan. Almost immediately after stopping, she pulls around me to get next to me. [driving tip: when someone behaves in a matter similar as this, that means they think you’re slow and they want to get in front of you]1 Knowing this, I prepare myself for anything that comes my way. [its always better to be observant other driver’s behavior, so when something stupid happens, you’re ready to react]

Anyhow, light turns green. We both push down on the pedal. [With my driving behavior, I tend to go a little faster ‘off the line’ than other drivers do. It gives me a slight distance so in case I need to turn soon, I won’t slow down the flow of traffic] The woman to the left of me keeps up, but behind a little. Slowly speeding up to my coasting speed [usually 10 mph faster than the speed limit posted] of 65 mph, she falls a little further back. I hit the cruise control button and relax because the next red light is over a mile away and there is no one on the road but me and this woman. A minute passes. Traffic stopped at the red light is approaching fast. *spidey senses go off* She speeds up. Now consider the situation. A woman driver, behind the flow of traffic [namely me], red light up ahead with a line of stopped cars, and remember back to what I said earlier about her turning right soon1. What do you think she does next?

If you said “SPEED UP”, you’re correct! Give yourself a pat on the back. You have passed the “why the fuck are women allowed to drive?” question of the day!

She speeds up. So I think, fuck that… I know what she’s going to do, and it could cause some serious problems. So I speed up to keep her from moving over. She speeds up more. My response is similar. So here we are, doing about 85 flying towards stopped traffic with “stupid cunt” [we’ll call her stupid cunt] still trying to get in front of me. It gets to the point where I realize that I better slow down or I will plow right into the back of the poor unsuspecting motorists ahead. So I lay off the gas. This, apparently, was a golden opportunity for her to move over. So she slides right in and SLAMS on her brakes. So much that I didn’t think I would stop in time.

Coming to a stop at 5cm off stupid cunt’s bumper; I lean on the horn, using the force from the stop to push it further into the steering wheel. Not satisfied [which I’ll mention here in a moment], I keep it pushed down and quickly raise up my free hand telling her that “she’s number one!”. This goes on for a bit, until I realize that she’s not even going to acknowledge me behind her.

So I follow her, attempt to ram the bitch off the road, and look for a good opportunity to nudge in front of her and slam on my brakes. Sadly, I was only able to force her into the shoulder by “sharing” her lane when I got next to her.

On the rest of my 30 minute journey home, I was listening to podcasts; but didn’t hear a word of what they were saying. The whole time, all I could think of was what I COULD have done if I had followed her. Hindsight 20/20, I would have followed her into the Costco parking lot [which is where she eventually turned into] and chucked a fat rock right through one [or two] of her windows.

I’m not a violent man, not on the outside at least; and I don’t consider myself to have road rage. Normally, I don’t get mad at other drivers because I’m usually the one that likes to watch others behaviors. This time, however, the only thing I could think of was getting back at this fuckin’ whore. Thankfully, I was able to get all this out in words, and I had the sense enough not to follow her into that parking lot. So if anything, this blog has helped me remove some anger and let me publish my thoughts without the need to express them physically. Thanks for reading.

[edit: perfect timing too, right after my “how long will I live” post.]

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